Monday, September 27, 2010

Morph suit Mania

Morph suits seem to be turning up everywhere. I even indulged in the purchase of five morph suits, buy four get one free. The colours I collected included Red, Green, Blue, Yellow, Gold (provided by my friend) and Pink. It is amazing that the morph suit doesn't just change your appearance, but your personality as well. I found myself thinking I could perform contortionist like acts and execute handstands or other physical tasks without any proper training.  Even a visual impairment that is experienced the morph suit bearer can take the role as a super hero, or at least in their mind.

The main reason for my morph suit indulgence was to kidnap my brother to kick off his bachelor party that was filled with unrestrained debauchery. It went great, although my brother in law (the Yellow one) with his impaired vision did not see the cement parking barrier in the parking lot at the scene of the crime, tripped and broke his fall with his hand. It was the next day after the party that he realized he had broke his hand, for the metacarpal of his middle finger had separated and he required surgery to screw it back in.

Once my brother had been kidnapped we took him to a dark garage and tied him to a chair. We positioned him to face four monitors that all played a pornographic video of a vulgar nature, and one television played Toy Story. However, toys such as Tigger were in front of the television performing some unmentionable acts. My brother took two phone calls from our Mom and his fiancé and then we presented him with the Pink morph suit he would wear for that evening.

To summarize the characters in this story:
  • Pink: Brother (older)
  • Green: Brother (younger)
  • Blue: Cousin
  • Yellow: Brother in law
  • Gold: Friend of mine
  • Red: me

The evening then proceeded to a pub crawl. As each one of the morph guys entered a bar, they would become instant celebrities. For the whole night people would approach me and say "Hey, you're the Red guy". Someone should have called the "obvious police" because that should honestly go without saying. I even was assaulted by some unknown assailants, yelling "Who are you!". The attackers then took me to the ground and grabbed at my zipper. I fended them off, but it was a scary situation to be in. It was a brief experience of what some celebrities must experience as they encounter some fanatic fans.

My night didn't end until around 3 AM when I found myself dancing in the Biathlon course shed around the river valley. It was a great experience being the Red guy, but I will be sure not to repeat it any time soon.


  1. The last picture taken of me before the incident...
    - The Brother in law -

  2. Fuckin hilarious! This post made my day!

  3. hey,you look cool in the zentai suits